Tim's Blog!

In between my roles in Altar Boyz and Hi-5, I was living in Melbourne and teaching singing, primarily at night.

One afternoon, before work, I drove down to the beautiful Mornington Peninsula just south of Melbourne, a place that is famous for its brightly coloured little sheds all lined up along the beach side.

While I was walking around the local shops, I passed a second hand shop. Something displayed in the window caught my eye. It was a little wooden sail boat, very similar to the one I had owned as a child. I smiled as memories flooded back of my childhood, when I would sail my little boat in the Marlborough Sounds, New Zealand. Out of impulse, I decided to buy that little yacht.

On arriving back at the car where my friend was waiting, I was greeted with a look of puzzlement. Hastily I explained it was for reasons of nostalgia that I had made this special purchase. The look diminished but did not disappear completely.

I drove back to Melbourne and for the next few days the boat took pride of place perched on top of my television.  It was built like those old racing yachts of the 1920’s, with a massive bowsprit and sail area. It was a beautiful ornament and complemented the room really well.

Anyway, a few days later, Melbourne was treated to an absolutely stunning day.  So what better way to enjoy it but to find a little lake close to the city, and sail my little boat. I drove from park to park to park, but the lakes were either dried up or more of the swamp variety. Then I had a better idea-what about Albert Park which has the mother of all lakes- so massive that the Melbourne formula one race track circumnavigates it. A great idea.

Now this boat is tiny, about 30cm long and wasn’t the quickest of little boats, so sailing this little yacht in a lake that in some places was about 1.5 km wide, was a little risky. But desperate to live out my childhood dreams, I decided to throw caution to the wind and just give it a go.

I checked the direction of the wind. It was heading the perfect way. This meant the boat would sail straight towards the other side of the lake, probably only 100metres away.  I took a breath and gently placed it in the water, pointing it towards the opposite side of the lake. It was incredibly well built and sailed perfectly in a straight line, slow and steady. I decided to walk over to the other side of the lake to greet it when it arrived. As I was walking I realised I had a big childlike smile on my face-a recreation of my own childhood many years before.

I reached the other side and the boat had now just passed the middle of the lake. The wind was reducing but the little boat was still travelling nicely and headed directly for me. It came closer and closer, but the wind was getting lighter and lighter: closer, lighter, closer, lighter. Then I realized to my consternation, that my boat was getting slower and slower until eventually, along with the wind, it stopped. It was about fifteen metres away from me just bobbing in the glassy water.

I sat on the lakeside enjoying the view for a good fifteen minutes, waiting for the wind to return. Albert Park is a beautiful park, so this was pleasant. All of a sudden, the wind started to come back. YEAH!. But not in the right direction. OHHH!

The boat started to turn, uh oh. It found its course, but unfortunately for me, it was pointing directly towards the far end of the lake, a good 1.5km away.  I decided not to panic and to just be patient. After all I still had two and a half hours before I was needed at work. The wind was very light but consistent, so the tiny little boat kept heading further and further away. It got smaller and smaller until it was just a little white dot on the water.

I hopped in my car and drove down to the other end. Suddenly I realized there were a few obstacles for my boat to overcome. Not only was there a mob of teenage boys poised to enter the lake for their weekly rowing practice, but there was also an island in the middle of the lake that the boat could sail straight into. Just to add to my difficulties the island was swampy  so my little boat could easily become stuck.  Suddenly the little dot started to get bigger and bigger and easier to see, but what I saw was not good- it was heading straight for the island. And then it disappeared from view. It must’ve landed on the other side.

Despondently I drove round to the other side and was amazed to find the tiny little boat still happily sailing away. It had in fact passed behind the island not landed on it.

That was a close call.

But now I started to see row boat after row boat powered by energetic, devious-looking teenage boys heading directly towards my little friend.

At the speed they were travelling I came to the panicked conclusion that they had three options:

1. They might hit and break my little yacht.
2. They might hit my little yacht, but it doesn’t break.  Instead, their $4000 boat does, sinking the hormonal crew.
3. They might miss the boat, but on passing hit it with their oars and once aware of the wooden toy steal it.

One boat missed, then another, then option three came to fruition. A white boat with a blue stripe down its middle hit the little boat with one of its oars. Their boat started to slow. Then it stopped. My little boat was in big danger. But no. The sounds of an angry coach over a megaphone forced the halting crew to resume their rowing and leave my little friend alone. PHEW!

By now I only had thirty minutes until I had to leave for work and the boat still had a while to go.

The wind started to drop again.

Five, ten, fifteen minutes past and still my boat was doing its own thing, then suddenly the wind ceased to exist, the boat was only a tantalising 10 metres or so away from where I was standing. I couldn’t jump in as I had no spare clothes and no teacher should stand in front of students looking as bedraggled as I would be.

I guess at this point I should have given up on the little boat and left it to the mercy of the elements.  However, suddenly and quite miraculously, there was the tiniest puff of wind and ever-so- slowly the little boat turned and headed in my direction. YES!

Finally it made it. I pulled it out of the water and with no time for celebration ran to the car and headed straight to work with seconds to spare. And would you believe my first student didn’t turn up! That was a lucky escape in more ways than one. Waiting for the next student I had time to compose myself and reflect on my little boat’s first three-hour lake adventure at Albert Park.

I still have the little boat.  It is back perched on top of the television and I look on it as a symbol to remind me of the message…

“Don’t put little boats in big lakes Tim, you idiot!”

Tim Maddren