Tim's Blog!

On the day before Australia Day every year Lake Cathie and the community around the beautiful little lake organise a race titled…

‘The Anything Goes Race’

A race that I can now say ANYTHING actually does go! So, always being up for some adventure I decided to enter this unique event.

To enter the race you must build, or attempt to build something that will get you around set course that is placed in Lake Cathie.

Sounds like an easy race huh, but when you add a dozen or so other floating contraptions and their crew trying to do the same, whilst throwing whatever they can at you. Plus many-a-local on the lake edge ready to throw food, flour and water bombs at you if you stray a tiny bit too far off course. Then add the local fire brigade pumping water from the lake and aiming it at you and your very hastily built boat, it becomes a more demanding task!

I arrived in the area late on the Friday and the race was on the Sunday, so that meant Saturday was build day. I had many an idea about what I was going to build, one idea was four up-turned chilly bins or eskies, taped together with gaffer tape and then use the lids for paddles. After attempting to mount two in the pool I decided that it wasn’t really one of my best ideas. I didn’t have much time so I was thinking economically, when I stumbled across a bright yellow plastic canoe looking thing resting on the back of the shed that I was planning to build this construction in. So in the words of Carson Cresley… I decided to jhoosh the old canoe up.

So the rest of the Saturday and early Sunday were spent jhooshing up a canoe in a shed in the local Lake Cathie district.

Literally about half an hour before the race was to commence, I finished it and named it the honourable title of…

The ‘CATHIEBEAN’

I originally thought that everyone would pronounce it like Carribean, only replace the Carri with Cathie. But when the locals saw it, they nick named it somewhat harshly as the Cathie-’Bean’, like the vegetable. I put it down to harsh jealousy that erupted when they saw my fine construction!

So as you will se from the photos, transporting the amazing vessel was an adventure in itself. But with a strong team we managed to get it on the roof of the ute and slowly I drove it down to the Lake Cathie boat ramp, where the start of the race was.

At this point I would like to point out that I live four hours drive south of this lake and its community, so when a complete stranger with a pirate hat on his head and a pirate ship on the roof of his car arrived at the race, the air was filled with glancing looks that seemed to scream “WHAT!?!????”

Or as one man loudly remarked…”Who the heck id this joker?!”

Unfazed, I birthed my sturdy ship at the start of the ‘Anything Goes Race’ and prepared to take on the local Lake Cathie locals in  their own lake!

The starting gun fired…BANG!

We were off, the first few legs of the race were into the wind so I had to keep the sail tied up and that meant a LOT of paddling. The other boats were a lot faster than mine, and because I had the wooden planking I was far less manoeuvrable also. There were boats that looked like tree huts, boats that were actual boats (cheaters!) and boats that looked like a sudoku puzzle on water. Anyone who was on the water with a spare hand was throwing food, water bombs, fish bait and anything else that you would want to quickly dodge. But because I was so slow, I managed to stay comparatively clean.

The top mark was scarily close to the Lake Cathie bridge, on which about fifty smiling people stood, armed with everything throw-able just waiting for the boats to arrive. If you rounded the buoy closely you would be able to avoid the food missiles being fired from the bridge people but everyone ahead of me were struggling to keep close to the buoy and they were getting covered in all things imaginable. I began to get increasingly nervous, especially after hearing “Get the Hi-5 dude!”

Some racers were so fired up at the bridge people and their food that they seemed to forget about the race completely and turned their attention to getting them back with their own home made missiles of food and flour. This was great for me as it acted as a fantastic diversion.

So I got closer and closer and eventually, by some miracle, my seaworthy ‘Cathiebean’ rounded the mark in a fashion that can only be describe as, ‘seamless’.

I started to get excited because the wind was travelling at the Cathiebean’s stern, so that meant my custom built sail would be a welcomed help. Paddling was exhausting!

At the top mark I was second to last, of all the boats that hadn’t decided to wage war with the ever growing army over at the Lake Cathie bridge.

Tip for the future never pick a food fight with people on a bridge. Just quit your losses and move AWAY!

Meanwhile, back at the top mark. I quickly lowered and set my sail, then my sturrdy ‘Cathiebean’ magically transformed into the Speeedy Cathiebean. I passed one, then another, another, stopping at the next one to throw whatever water bombs I had left at them. That Cathie-’bean’ joke had cut me very deep!

Then finally I reached the finish line, what a blast!

I had finished forth. No prize, but an AWESOME come-back from almost last to almost 3rd!

As all the remaining boats finished, any left over food, flour, fish bait and un-burst water bombs were thrown, any disputes with the bridge people were settled and all the contestants in the Lake Cathie ‘Anything Goes Race’ were left exhausted by the lakeside with some of the largest grins I have ever seen on a group of people.

What fun!

We all finished the day off at the laughing and joking at the local bowling club, with a bush band, hot Australian sun and some great stories of our mornings adventure. There was a prize giving ceremony but I felt it fell short as I felt every contestant needed to be congratulated.

Lake Cathie Locals,

Thank you for an awesome day.

Tim Maddren

For more photos of the event, check out the gallery.